Monday, April 30, 2007

Greetings, Sirs.

This weekend, I was lucky enough to be in Mystic, Conn., where I spent some time campaign. I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of attention I generated there. People crossed the street to come pat my head and listen to my theories of government. Many were drooled on.
The message is getting out, friends.

Now, as promised, I'll answer some questions sent to me.

1) What is your name?
Ans.: Sebastian K. Poochles. I am the latest in a long line of Poochleses. We (like all Bassets) trace our lineage to France in the 16th Century. My family came to America late in the 19th Century and worked as hunters. Later, we moved into advertising.

2) How old are you?
Ans.: I am almost six. My exact birthdate is unknown due to oddities in my adoption proceedings. I now celebrate my birthday on 15 May.

3) What is your education?
Ans.: I graduated first in my class from St. Sebastian's Prep.; a received my A.Bs. in Napping and Ham Studies from Poochles State University; I got my M.A. from Columbia.
I also finished obedience school.

4) What is your previous employment?
Ans.: I am a hound. Since school, I've spent most of my time napping.

5) Do you have any hobbies?
Ans.: I enjoy chasing my little basketball. In fact, all little balls. But I lose them under the couch.
I also enjoy chasing bunnies and reading. I like Faulkner.
Also, pooping.

6) Any favorite foods?
Ans.: I like ham. And peas. Sometimes I eat ham and peas together.

7 What is your political persuasion?
Ans.: I am strictly Anti-Bunny. I cannot stress this enough.

Hams to you and your loved ones,

Sebastian K. Poochles

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Greetings, Sirs.

Hello, America.
Allow me to introduce myself: I am Sebastian K. Poochles. I am a Basset Hound. I am here to formally announce my candidacy for the U. S. presidency.

I believe I can be the first Basset president.

You'll no doubt be interested to find out all about that.

You Shall. In the coming days, I shall post my personal history, policies and my reasons for running to be your president.

But now I must retire.

Hams to you and your loved ones.