Hams, 1950s. Hams, 1590s.

There's been a lot of campaigning going on recently, so we haven't been around to answer letters much. We have one from our comment bar:

Hey Sebastian! I'm Jenny Fischer from Reno, Nevada. What's the deal with this "Poochles Casane" nickname?

I don't know. That's Mister Sir's deal. Ask him

Mister Sir answers: It comes from a secondary character in Christopher Marlowe's plays Tamburlaine the Great and Tamburlaine the Great Part II. Tamburlaine begins the play as a shepherd and bandit in Scythia, and sets out to rule the world, helped out by his underling friends, Techelles and Usum-Casane. (Elizabethans were, in some ways, very simple people and the surest way to prove a character was from a far-away, exotic place was to give a ridiculous name, especially in the bombastic, heroic style of drama that Marlowe pretty much single-handedly created and which lasted well past the Restoration.)

Poochles has roughly 60 nicknames, most of which he's ashamed of, and mostly formed by association with whatever text I'm reading at the moment. Other Marlovian names include Mephipoocheles, Fido, Queen of Carthage, and The Troublesome Reign and Lamentable Stink of Poochles II, King Of England with the Rise and Fall of Proud Daisy Dawg.

Our other question came to us via email:

Poochles: are you nothin' but a hound-dog? Conner Maise Newark, NJ.

In Basset society, there is only one hound that receives that title. His name is Sherman, and when Elvis Presley appeared on the Steve Allen Show, Steve made Elvis (in white tie) sing to
Sherman.

Sherman, who was reasonably pissed off because they tied a little top hat to his head, and who preferred show tunes anyway, was not impressed. I haven't been able to find video footage replicable here, but on tape, you can see Sherman repeatedly turn his head away from Elvis, and Elvis wrench his head back around. If that we me, it would have been Prime Time Bite Time with Sebastian K. Poochles.

So no, Connor, I am not nothin' but a hound dog.

Hams of Classic Rock and Roll to you,
Sebastian K Poochles

Monday Mailbag, Part 2

Actually, we look more similar than I thought. And it turns out that the original Porthos, named Prada, was a male dog.

Our next question was a bit of a mess. It's from "Nest" and reads:

Q: ALiens? are you like Kushinish, dude and beieve in teh saucer pplz? ha ha ha

A: I was referring not to extraterrestrials, but to illegal aliens. I'm going to assume by your lack of mastery in English that you're not up enough on your Latin to know that alien comes from the word for "different", and so can refer to both ETs and immigrants.

That said, I think there are hounds from different worlds. Unfortunately, due to the incomprehensible distances of space, I feel it is unlikely we will meet them within my lifetime. I don't often watch much science fiction either, because it can be hard for me to tell the difference between it and what's real. (Although Windy is a compelling reason to watch Enterprise. I understand there are characters there for the human males for much the same reason.) Mister Sir recently watched an story called "Daleks in Manhattan", and I was very concerned. I can see the Empire State Building from home, and these Daleks seemed to be using it to take over. They do not seem to have succeeded yet, but know this: I am watching, sirs. I am watching.

We hear from Laurie Doniger, from Chapel Hill, NC

Q: Hi there Mr Poochles -- My name is Laurie Doniger, and I'm from Chapel Hill, NC. I see lots of Indie musician friends on your MySpace page, but I see elsewhere you like jazz. What do you really like?! Also: do you give kisses? I want one!

A: Currently, I've been listening to a lot of Rose Melberg and the Decemberists. My musical taste is pretty catholic, and I embrace many traditions. Alas, my lips are not made for smooching, per se, and I am hesitant to lick people to excess. Bassets have a lot of drool, and most people don't appreciate a puss-full of slobber. I am always up for a good belly-rub, though!

And lastly, from Andy Guitner, Kansas City, MO:

Q: Hey Pooch-man! I see that your campaign manager is called "Mister Sir." Is he like the guy Jon Voigt played in the movie Holes? And do you have a campaign slogan yet? I was thinking maybe you could use "I'm a Poochles Person". It seemed nifty to me. And I'm still waiting on one of those "Poochles is My President" t-shirts!

A: Mister Sir is real first off, and as much not Jon Voight-y as possible, though I am not familiar with the specifics of the character of which you speak.

And I very much like your suggestion for slogan. We will review here at PooCH and get back to you, offering you full restitution should it be used.

The Liberty of a salty ham to you all,
Sebastian K Poochles

Mailbags, ahoy, Sirs

Questions have been pouring in here at Poochles Campaign Headquarters. Let's dive into some.

We hear from Randy Avernam of Los Angeles, CA:

Q: Hi Poochles! My name is Randy Avernam from LA. I'm a big Star Trek fan, and I noticed you look a little like Porthos from Enterprise. Are you related? Even if you're not, I'm totally voting for you in Nov.

A: Well, sir, the thing that pops most into my mind is this: Porthos isn't actually a male dog. All three versions of him were played by lady dogs (Breezy and Windy). Apparently, it's rude to see dog unmentionables on screen, so they always use females. Which means I am a-okay for your TV viewing pleasure. Secondly, Porthos is a beagle, not a basset hound.

So, no, Porthos is not related to me. Although she is pretty foxy. Although maybe fox-houndy is a better term.