Hallo!

During my recovery, sirs, I have been investigating the people who have been visiting my site.
I've had people from Denmark, China, Japan, Mongolia, Greece and the UAE.

I thought I'd say a little something to them all in their native tongues.
(Please do not be offended if the computer translation says ridiculous things.)

To the Danes:
Hallo! Jeg er Sebastian K. Poochles. Velkommen hen til mig website. Behage afgøre jeres bekendte i Danmark omkring mig! Hams hen til jer , hr.

To the Greeks:
γειά εγώ είμαι Sebastian K. Poochles. καλώs ήρθατε σε my website. παρακαλώ λέω δικό σου φίλοι μέσα Ελλάδα όλος για εμένα. Hams σε you , κέριε.

To the Arabs:
مرحبا! أنا [سبستين] [ك.]. [بووكس]. ترحيب إلى موقعتي. رجاء قلت كلّك صديقات في ال [أو] جميعا حول ي.
[نوت-همس] إلى أنت.

Sorry other languages: my computer isn't good at Asian languages.

Hams to you, sirs.

The Tummy, Sirs, The Tummy.

Since my return from the Tri-Partite Basset Commission, I have been ill, sirs.
Today, I have had multiple accidents and passed some blood.
My colitis may have returned.

I plan to recuperate for a bit, and to cling around the legs of the nearest Sir.
A new update will appear soo---


Dashing to poo, sirs.

Later, Sirs.

I must abjectly apologize for not posting lately.

I have been very busily preparing for the Tripartite Basset Commission -- charts, speeches and such.
As you may know, I will be delivering the keynote address (On Basset Noses: The Twenty-First Century and Beyond!). This has been very carefully crafted; I am proud of it. Perhaps I will do an audio post of it when I return.

I have also found out that there is a "Monkey Hill" near where I will be staying. I can only assume that there are plentiful monkeys running around there -- I intend to catch and eat one. I have never eaten monkey before. I think it may taste like sir-flesh.

I will also be attending the grave of Alfred the Puma.
Alfred the Puma lived at the Brandywine Zoo; when he died they kept his area empty with a sign that said "Alfred the Puma is dead." I thought this was sad. And creepy.
I want to dignify Alfred's tomb and honor his life. Maybe I will also pee a little on his tomb.

(I also hear there are otters at the Zoo. They're probably also tasty.)

So, in conclusion, I will be gone for a few weeks. When I come back, I will be a positive fountain of policy -- I intend to use the Tripartite Basset Commission to fully polish and formulate my views on economics, foreign and domestic relations.

Hams, juicy Hams to you and yours, Sirs.

Sirs: A Campaign Song?

I was talking to Mister Sir today when the conversation turned to music. In a Flash*, I realized that I needed a campaign song. Quickly.

I discussed the options with Mister Sir and I decided that the song "I Need All the Friends I Can Get" by the group Camera Obscura would be ideal. I immediately sent them an email asking their permission:

Dear Sirs and Lady-Sirs of Camera Obscura:

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Sebastian K. Poochles. I am a basset hound. I have included a picture of me so you can see what I look like.**

I am writing to you for this reason: I am running for president of the United States in 2008. To do this, I need a catchy campaign song. I wanted to see if you would mind if I used your song
"I Need All The Friends I Can Get" from your album Let's Get Out of This Country. I think it's a fine song and very much the sort of message a dog running for president needs to send out.
I would also like to add that I have been a fan of yours all my life.

Please visit my website at www.poochles2008.blogspot.com and you can see my campaign blog and listen to me speak.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Wishing you hams,

Sebastian K. Poochles.

I await their response.

Good Hams to you.

*Basset hounds always capitalize this phrase in honor of one of the most famous Basset hounds, Flash from The Dukes of Hazzard.

**The picture sent was the one to the left, of me in the park.

Hear Me, Sirs

I thought that I should use some exciting new technology.

Please listen to me as I talk, sirs. It is like telephoning, but over the Internet.

Gabcast! Poochles 2008 #1

Success, Sirs, Success!

Congratulations To You, Sirs.

This website, Poochles2008.blogspot.com, is now the NUMBER ONE GOOGLE RESPONSE for the word "Poochles"!

This is a great moment, sirs and lady-sirs.

I can only thank you.
And politely ask you to Look To The Future!

Hams to You and Your Loved Ones.

Sirs: More Exciting Comments

Rocky's family is very computer-literate and very pro-Basset. We can only praise this.

His aunt writes:

The Honorable Sebastian,
First of all, I have enjoyed following you on your campaign trail. I respect and admire all of your opinions and you have my vote - "you da dog"! I know you are busy but I would be honored if you would give me your opinion on this important issue - "Do you think Sanjaya Malakur should have gotten the boot?" Hoping you will find time from your busy schedule to express your opinion.
Respectfully,
Rocky's aunt

I'm not going to lie here. I'm not very sure who this Sanjaya is.

I am a very savvy news-watcher and I did see several pieces on the local Newscast -- CBS 2 -- concerning him. Mister Sir is a faithful viewer of The People's Court -- he's even been in the studio audience -- and the WCBS 2 Five O'clock News comes on immediately after. For several weeks, he featured on this newscast. But I will find out more about him.

Later -- I looked up Mr Malakar on the Wikipedia.
You see, I am not allowed to pick what is shown on the TV. Also, Mister Sir moans painfully when American Idol is on and claims his soul is being stolen. So I was not able to come up with much of an opinion before my Wikipedia dive.
But Mr Malakar seems like a nice guy. He has nice fur for a human. Also, he sang two Irving Berlin songs which I can only support. I can only conclude he was unfairly removed from the American Idol proceedings.
But he sort of, kind of, looks a like a rent boy.
(Mister Sir made me say that. I'm not sure what a rent boy is or what they look like, but Mister Sir is offering me a treat. I will say anything he wants for that treat.)

Hams to You and Your Esteemed TV Programs.

Later Later. -- Oh dear. Wikipedia will teach you a whole bunch.