I'm Back, Sirs.

Hello there, sirs and lady-sirs. How are you?

Me? I'm doing better than ever. I just woke up from an extended nap. You see, I was talking to Mister Sir sometime ago. He told me presidential candidates can never rest. I thought that was terrible. I decided to do some hibernating, so I could save up my energy and be a rip-roaring Campaigning Machine.

But it turned out Mister Sir was kind of slack. Each time he tried to wake me up, I growled. And that made him run away like a big pansy. Just because I took a big hunk out his face on two separate instances, I suppose.
So maybe that's understandable. But that's why I missed out on the Iowa and New Hampshire caucuses. Cauci? Caucoi? Caucophim?

Oh. It is Caucuses. That's kind of boring. Maybe it should be Caucux? No? Well fine.

So now I'm back. And it's about time.

[Mister Sir says that that was Doctor Who, a decade ago.]

So now I'm back. And it's about ham.

[Mister Sir now says I should focus on my goals.]

So now I'm back. And it's about you.

Yes, you, and how much better your life will be with me as your president. Now, in the past few months, we've gotten lots of questions from all over the world. We'll be addressing those tomorrow and over the next few days. Feel free, of course, to send in any questions you might have. and we'll try to answer them.

May your Hams Be Festively Plump!

--Sebastian K. Poochles