Today, Mister Sir and I logged on to MySpace.com to "generate more excitement for the movement". At least that was what Mister Sir said. I made contact with several interesting new dogs, many of which were my fellow Bassets. To these I say, Welcome, Sirs! Your support is appreciated. You will be known as the Shapers of History.
Over the past few days (probably in consonance with our online blitzes) we've received many questions. Several, we were delighted to see, were legitimate political questions. We'll come to those in due time, but we started out with a topical inquiry.
Miss Susannah Tinks, age 8, of Rural Hall, NC writes in [with a few editorial clarifications]
I love you, Poochles! You are sooooo [we're skipping some o's here] cute! I like your ears. They look floppy [We think. It might also be a word completely unsuitable for eight-year-olds, but we'll give her the benefit of the doubt.] Today was a Snow Day at our school. Do you like snow?
What do you do when it snows? Do you play outside like I do?
Answer: Well, Sir, I enjoy snow. However -- and I'm not sure if I can describe this in age-appropriate terms -- as a Little Dog, snow presents certain problems for me. Needless to say, I get cold pretty quickly if the snow is more than an inch or two high.
That said, yes, I do play in the snow when I can. I like to jump in it, especially since it can make walking hard if it's too deep. I also like to nose through it, where I run with my nose lowered. I enjoy eating snow, too. It also holds scents well, so I can track the Bunny even better on snow.
Mr Lester Jones, Kansas City, Kansas writes in with a chestnut:
Dogs can't talk. Or type. Explain yourself.
Answer: I can't say as I like your tone, sir. I must insist upon cordiality.
Let me put it like this: do you remember learning to to talk? I don't, and Mister Sir assures me this is normal. Typing is, of course, more difficult, but I have surprising limber paws.
Ms. Emma Breasdale of Williamsburg, Brookyn, NY asks:
I looked at your MySpace profile and it seems like there's a lot of musicians. What's up with that? Are you some kind of Clinton-esque musician poser? I mean, aren't musicians a little scummy?
Answer: Both Mister Sir and I feel like a campaign song is a very useful tool. We've solicited bands because we think they might be interested. Also, musicians aren't scummy. Sometimes they have to sleep in vans on tours, and vans don't have en suite showers, so you might have to forgive them if they "offend", like in 1940s soap ads.
[Mister Sir, hush. No one wants to hear about the time you met Rufus Wainwri... Gross! That *is* scummy. ]
Mister Sir and I are also supportive of Independent Labels that choose not to hamper creativity of the musicians or exploit them, and the bands that work within that purview. We also reckon they work cheaper than Springsteen, and Bowie still kind of freaks me out.
We get a similar question from Purvis Longman of Concord, NH:
You got a lot a foreigners as friends on the Facebook. What do you need foreigners for?
Answer: Well, better to have foreigners as friends than to have Foreigner as a friend. Am I right?
No? Not even after the musicians questions? Fine.
You know, some people call the President "the Leader of the Free World". I'm not sure how accurate that is any more, but the US is still a world superpower, and with our increasingly global economy, he (or she) needs to be in contact with people all around the world. Unfortunately, the current administration is happy to tread on the toes of others -- and that's not decent. When we alienate France -- our first ally, and the birthplace of the world's bassets -- we have done something seriously wrong.
Also, don't forget the Constitution defines the chief executive as the chief ambassador of the United States.
My friends in Australia, New Zealand, Scotland, England and Canada help keep me in touch with the world at large.
Well, my time for today is up. Tomorrow, we'll discuss immigration.
Hams baked with honey to you,
Sebastian K. Poochles