More Questions for Mr Poochles

Well, as promised, I'm answering some of the questions people have posed to me
recently. Remember, if you have questions, just leave a comment or email me at sebastian.k.poochles@gmail.com .

This was our latest question, from one Harley J. Chesterfield, of Peterborough, Mass.:

Q:Mr Poochles, I noticed that you're currently reading The Federalist Papers. Had you been an active Basset politician at that time, would you have been a Federalist or an Anti-Federalist?

A: Well, sir, I think it's a little premature for me to say right now. I haven't finished The Federalist, and I may well want to read The Anti-Federalist Papers. However, I tend to incline towards more centralized powers; I find Hamilton's reasoning that de-centralized states tend more to petty wars and Jay's argument that they are less capable to deal with faction convincing.
Also, all that small-holding farming and peaceable agrarianism of the Anti-Federalists sounds a lot like Enlightenment Hippy Talk. And we know what I think of hippies.

Mrs. Janice Dubouis of Walla Walla, Washington writes:

Q: Sebastian, who is your favorite Roloff family member?

A: I am a big fan of Little People, Big World! You see, as a Little Dog myself, I can sympathize with many of the problems Little People face, and I'm glad to see Little Dogs or Little People generating such positivity.
What I do find curious about the show is how it shies away from the family's obviously deeply-held religious beliefs. I'm no fan of teh Jesuses, but I don't think it's something to hide.
That said, I think Molly is my favorite.

....Mister Sir, hush. That one kid should not do porn, whatever you say.
Oops. Sometimes Mister Sir says things, and I have to tell him to belt up.

Mr Christopher Marley of Enid, OK asks:

Q: Do you think Oklahoma is OK?

A: I have heard nothing to despoil my high opinion of that state. Firstly, there's a swell musical called that, that I can only assume is an accurate representation of everyday life there, and that makes it seem pretty swell.
Secondly, Miss Sarah Vowell comes from there, so that's definitely a plus. I once hung around Chelsea trying to meet her (and is getting there a problem!), but somebody got mad when I peed on some flowers in the Flower Market.

Ms Bunny Lapin of Biloxi, Miss. asks:

Q: Can you describe your Anti-Bunny sentiments again?

A: Fear not, Ms Lapin, it is only the little furry rodents that bear the brunt of the ABP's anger. You see, we were first started several years ago in Australia, where the Bun Menace is at its highest. The bunnies there team so much that they eat all the food, and cause the soil to erode away. Also, the funky, dangerous things that are supposed to abound Down Under don't get enough ha... food. I understand that the accounts for even more maimings and death than usual there.
Since then, the ABP had actively pursued Bunny elimination around the world: chiefly through education, but also through extermination. Man, abstinence-based education does not work for rabbits. We also police borders so that not only bunnies but jack-rabbits and hares do not infiltrate non-bunny environments. We also advocate serving bunny at meals. To date, almost 3 and a half people are alive in China because of our Bunnies for Cheap Nikes program.

I don't know where Sebastian Fairen LeSage the first comes from, but here's the comment he left for us:

Q: Dear Mr. Sebastian...
My Lady has a very soft heart when it comes to those of our kind and she has rescued 2 of those little rat/chahuahua dogs...
At first I was devastated that she would bring them into my home, but as I watched the wretched little things, all abused and such, I found my heart melted somewhat....
I finally sniffed each ones butt in welcome and they were so overjoyed they became my "guarddogs"...Ain't that funny...
I am a big Rotweiller/Cocker Spaniel male...(Yes...I am of hybred persuasion and proud of it!)...
I weigh in at a whopping 103#...
So you can see how delicious it is for these 2 tiny sentries to hold guard while I sleep...
I highly recomend security like this to any high ranking dog of power...
Will see you at the polls...
Wishing you juicy hams and sausages...
Sebastian Fairen LeSage the first...

A: My first response is: Rotweiler/Cocker Spaniel? That's kind of funky. Your father must have been very ambitious or your mother very limber. And accommodating.
But what you say is interesting. I can see how little yappy dogs could be very good security. They're just not very good conversationalists. I'll have to contact my close associate Nikki the Miniature Dachshund for some contacts. I'd ask her, but she's 14. A spry 14, but still, she does get confused sometimes. I thank you for your wish of sausages. I am a fan of those, too.

I want to remind everyone that the South Carolina primary is coming up, and no-one from South Carolina has visited. To my knowledge, anyway. Remember to write in "Poochles Is My President!" on the ballots there!

May your hams be low in nitrite contents!

Sebastian K. Poochles.